Yes my friends, unhappiness is a choice!
Sometimes we envy those who are so miserable, “Why can’t I be as sad as him” or “She’s so lucky, you never see her without a frown on her face”.
You too can be as depressed as them – I promise!
All it takes is the power of your mental focus. Your life is what you focus on, that’s all.
Luckily, I have created a list to help you stay in a negative state AT ALL TIMES. Try it for a few days; if you’re not lower in spirits than ever before, I’ll give you your money back!
(1) Live In The Past. Even though it doesn’t actually exist anymore, dwell in it. If at all possible, repeat the mistakes you’ve made in your life over and over again in your mind. Remind yourself that no-one else makes mistakes; it’s just you.
(2) Think About Missed Opportunities. In order to waste EVEN MORE of your time and energy, think about all the things you think you’ve missed out on, remembering to make them seem better than what they actually were. Remember that job you didn’t take, that girl you decided not to date……what if………
(3) The Grass IS Greener On The Other Side. Of course it is! Look at all those other people’s lives, they haven’t got their troubles or challenges, they’re perfectly peaceful and happy in every way. Try to remember this from the moment you wake up.
(4) Remember All The Times You’ve Been Mistreated. Replay these occasions over and over again in your mind. It serves absolutely purpose other than to bring a painful past event right smack into the present and experience it all over again – result!
(5) Worry About Possible Future Mistreatment. When done with step 4, move to worrying about more of the same in the future. The great thing about our minds is that they don’t know the difference between a real and an imagined event. If you want to feel like shit, create imagined scenarios in your mind that you don’t like, you don’t have to wait on it actually happening. They say a coward dies a thousand deaths – BE THAT COWARD!
(6) Focus On What’s Missing In Your Life And Don’t Be Grateful For What You Already Have. Yes, some people are starving to death in the world, some have lost loved ones in war or to disease, bla bla bla…..but YOUR protein STILL hasn’t arrived from Amazon.com!!!!!
(7) Are You Beginning To Age Quickly!? Probably not but you should believe you are, after all, the worry will cause more lines and wrinkles – a self-fulfilling prophesy is just what you need.
(8) Think About Financial Ruin. Hey, there’s a recession on and even if you aren’t personally affected, think about how you could be anyway….
- I could lose my job
- I could lose my home
- Imagine if I was that guy who lost everything last week
Stuff like that works great!
(9) Gossip & Bitch About Others Constantly. You don’t believe in Karma – what goes around does NOT come around. Treat others like crap – relax, you’ll be the first person in history who doesn’t get their comeuppance.
(10) Believe That Your Situation Is Hopeless. Whatever it is, you CANNOT change it so don’t even try. No, no-one in the history of mankind has EVER overcome a similar situation and no-one in the whole world is prepared to lend you a hand. You’re trapped so accept it.
Practice these steps for a week and you’ll change your life!
To Misery 🙁
Mark McManus
P.S. If you’d like to be happy, just do the opposite:
- The past doesn’t exist, NOW is all you have. Make friends with your past and be optimistic about the future
- Everyone makes mistakes – all of us. You weren’t the first & you won’t be the last
- Other people have their own challenges that you have no idea about
- Worrying is dumb and a major waste of time
- Be grateful for the things you have while you move towards the things you want
- Treat others as you’d like to be treated – it works!
- No situation is hopeless. We are never given challenges that we have not amassed the skills to overcome. Challenges are learning tools and not things to be feared. You can overcome anything – ANYTHING!
ha ha. I love stuff like this. I think we all do the 10 steps at times. lol @ no. 6 – puts it into perspective!
It sure does my friend, it sure does 🙂
Great post Mark! Even though I know it was a spoof, it was still depressing to read. So it was effective.
The SoG
Love that you are writing mindset pieces bro.
Absolutely perfect, Mark.
You cannot get your body right without getting your head right first. That is way so many athletes spend just as much time learning to focus, and getting themselves jacked up mentally before the big game. They understand that where the mind leads, the body will follow.
Thanks SoG
@ Yavor – I think I’ll do more in the future too.
@ Benjamin – Very true man.
Great list =)
My only comment: Sometimes not doing 1) is very hard, but I’d imagine that’s due to the mind not being completelly healthy.
Oh, I liked. One more comment: You made my day. =)
Thank You Melindrea 🙂
Great style of post, enjoyed that!
It is hard to always think positive, but negative energy is wasted energy!
You got that right man.
Hey Mark. Do you know my ex or something?
LMAO!
This is just what I needed today, Mark. No joking. Thanks 🙂
That’s great to hear Ben! 🙂
It’s good to read things like this. Thanks for all.
ha believe it or not but i think this just put my life in perspective and cured a bout of depression lasting a few months and almost getting me kicked out of school ha
Great Crogi! Keep shining my man!
this is definitely convincing me that i should stop being so miserable and i need to stop thinking about the past so much.
man… you must have had a run in with my mother… she lives and breathes all of them except # 9
@ Sean. LMAO!
As someone who’s struggled with depression all his life adn who has a degree in psychology, I can tell you two things:
1. This really works
2. It really doesn’t work
It’s true that the more you dwell on unhappy things the closer you get to depression. Unfortunately, the physical changes depression causes make positive thinking nearly impossible. Studies have actually shown that depressed people have a MORE accurate self image, view of the future, and so on than “normals”.
It’s very frustrating to those of us who make a daily effort to put this into practice not to see results for many months – but more so when people think the mentally ill are somehow mentally lazy. Without concommitant couseling and drug therapy prognosis of positive thinking alone is poor.
Great post; well done. Thoroughly enjoyed it–thanks.
lmfao so funny
good way to turn a frown upside down 😀
When you are in trouble, it is hard to believe that you are being prepared for something better. It is hard to see that desperation you feel in the pit of your stomach is making you stronger. There is no way to tell that the fear you experience.
Looking back, I realized how unfulfilled my life had been. Most of the time, it was fun. But it did not fill the void I felt in my life. Perhaps that is why I never felt successful.
I got it! Thank you Mark for your willingness to participate in my healing.
I discover a new level of healing that needs to be done. I have been crying for a long time. It is time for me to laugh. In order to laugh, I know I must work through the crap, live through the bad, and have my eyes opened wide to the miracle of life called ME.
Be blessed!
@Crogi – great to hear!
@Irania – Thanks for your comments. I totally agree that each so-called ‘fall’ is a preparative step for something much better. However, we can choose not to take that step. This is when people get stuck. All things work together for the good in the end.
You should of added – Why me?
This has to be said most often by people with a negative outlook.
How you deal with life’s obstacles defines how you will live life.
Be part of the solution not the problem!
I agree with that Kiefer.
Really loved this article, it shows how ridiculous it is to sometimes worry about things instead of enjoying life. Thank you!
Awesome!! This is exactly what I have been doing all this time. 🙁
I am changing my way of thinking right NOW! Today is 30th Dec 2008, but I will not wait until 1st Jan 2009 to implement all the good things, including my diet and exercise. Waiting for a big day to start something good is an excuse to procrastinate even more!
Thanks a lot!!
My girlfriend needs to read this.
Great material. Something to pin to the fridge and review on those cloudy days.
Nice Post Mark!!
I just wanted to add: trying to please everybody to the list. Bill Cosby once said: “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody”.
Thanks, keep up the good work bro
Great post. i’ve seen myself and several of my friends doing at least a few of these. i think we’re all guilty of at least half at some point or another.
Really F*@king awesome post!!
Awesome post, although you missed the most important step for misery, Step 0: Never work out, make sure you skip every opportunity you have to hit the gym and instead enjoy a miserable few hours sitting alone in the dark :p
Missed that one, Dan 😉
Hahaha. Lmao. #6 made me laugh like crazy. Your protein shake still hasn’t arrived from Amazon.. Hehe Mark, you made my day man!
😀 Thanks, Manny
Lol great post Mark. It’s amazing how different your outlook is when you try to be positive. I was probably in the absolute worst situation a few months ago. I mean, a movie character couldn’t of had a worse run of luck. A few weeks of just trying to be positive, even 1 hr a day listening to audio recordings of changing your views worked wonders.