Author Brendon Burchard says…
At the end of our lives, we will ask ourselves 3 questions:
Did I live?
Did I love?
Did I matter?
I want to matter. I don’t need to change the world. But I want to have positively influenced hundreds/thousands of people before I kick the bucket.
I want to live. Not necessarily in a hedonistic way, as that tends to bring misery in its wake. I mean reaching my full potential. And to live authentically and be true to myself.
I want to love….um…gimme some time on this one – I’m still working on it 😉
So here are my 8 Rules for Happy & Successful Living. How many can you check off? By the way, I’m not saying I’ve got these all down and am perfect – I’m trying and I get better with time.
(1) Start Over
Realize that your whole life up to this point ended last night. Every day is a new life. The best thing about the past is that it’s over.
Today really is the first day of the rest of your life. And the past doesn’t matter and has no impact on you if you don’t want it to. You can begin all over.
(2) Make Friends With Your Past
Everyone has old wounds, grudges, and has had painful experiences. It’s time to let it go and start over with a clear and calm mind (see point 1).
Only once you have made friends with your past can you truly start to be optimistic about your future.
If you find the above difficult to do, it’s probably because you have need to forgive someone. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself and has nothing to do with the other person. You are carrying a weight around with you all day, and only YOU can put it down. It’s not for them, it’s for you.
Someone once said, “Not forgiving is like drinking poison and then waiting for the person to die”. Only you are being harmed by holding a grudge.
If you need a “formula” to help you do this, consider this from one of my favourite (now deceased) authors on the subject Emmet Fox…
“If anyone has ever injured me or done me any kind of harm, I fully and freely forgive him now, and the thing is done forever. I loose him and let him go. I am free and he is free.”
Also, consider the possibility that all events work for the good in the end. Anthony Robbins has a great quote on this…
“What if you adopted the belief that there are no bad experiences? Isn’t it true that no matter what you go through in life—whether it’s difficult or easy, painful or pleasurable—every experience provides something of value if you look for it?”
(4) Wake Up Every Day With A Purpose
You need to set goals. Having goals in your life gives you a direction to move in. You become master of your fate, captain of your soul. You are no longer pushed around by the winds of circumstance, you are now AT CAUSE in your life, not effect.
How to set goals and have purpose?
- Decide what you want out of life – and be specific
- Write it down.
- Figure out the price that needs to be paid to get you from A to B.
- Resolve to pay this price no matter what and make your plan.
- Work on it.
- No let up. No excuses.
It’s not rocket science. Just consistent action in the direction of your goals.
(5) Be Grateful
There are always many people (millions) worse off than yourself. We all for forget this from time to time. If your health is good and your mind is sound, you already have everything you need to take you wherever you want to go.
(6) Be Yourself
You’re weird? Good. You’re a nerd? Good. Whoever it is you really are, that’s who you need to be. Drop the pretence.
You’ll never be happy unless you are living authentically.
Joseph Campbell said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are”.
(7) Fill Your Mind With Thoughts That Are…
Positive, life-giving, constructive, kind, joyful, and compassionate.
Resolutely turn from anger, criticism, envy, hatred, and greed. These are your true enemies in life and not anyone or anything outside of yourself.
The Dalai Lama says…
“Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source of success in life.”
(8) Finally…Endeavor To Make Your Life Of As Much Service To Others As Possible
Because this is the secret to success in any endeavor.
- Business: The most successful business is one that seeks to help and serve as best as possible.
“He who would be the greatest among you must become the servant of all.”
Another Tony Robbins quote is invaluable here and you should burn it into your brain if you are in business…
“My success in life will be based on my ability to give, not my ability to take!”
Don’t go to your business with the intent to make money. Go with a heart of service. Seek to help as best as you can. A natural side-effect is that you will become successful. People will want to do business with a person like you.
Chasing profits as your primary concern leads to seeking short-cuts and making poor decisions. This can only result in failure.
The secret to success is service.
- Friendships: If you seek to BE a friend to those around you, you’ll have friends everywhere. If you seek to GET friends, you may end up with none.
- Romantic Relationships: If you see your relationship as a place you go to GIVE, not a place you go to GET, the relationship will flourish and need never end.
It’s true. In life we GET what we GIVE. Attempting to get before giving is doomed to failure.
Don’t go to life trying to EXTRACT happiness from it, BRING happiness to it.
If you like this post, please consider sharing. If you have any comments, please share below. And if you have any other rules or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
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