Author Brendon Burchard says…
At the end of our lives, we will ask ourselves 3 questions:
Did I live?
Did I love?
Did I matter?
I want to matter. I don’t need to change the world. But I want to have positively influenced hundreds/thousands of people before I kick the bucket.
I want to live. Not necessarily in a hedonistic way, as that tends to bring misery in its wake. I mean reaching my full potential. And to live authentically and be true to myself.
I want to love….um…gimme some time on this one – I’m still working on it 😉
So here are my 8 Rules for Happy & Successful Living. How many can you check off? By the way, I’m not saying I’ve got these all down and am perfect – I’m trying and I get better with time.
(1) Start Over
Realize that your whole life up to this point ended last night. Every day is a new life. The best thing about the past is that it’s over.
Today really is the first day of the rest of your life. And the past doesn’t matter and has no impact on you if you don’t want it to. You can begin all over.
(2) Make Friends With Your Past
Everyone has old wounds, grudges, and has had painful experiences. It’s time to let it go and start over with a clear and calm mind (see point 1).
Only once you have made friends with your past can you truly start to be optimistic about your future.
If you find the above difficult to do, it’s probably because you have need to forgive someone. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself and has nothing to do with the other person. You are carrying a weight around with you all day, and only YOU can put it down. It’s not for them, it’s for you.
Someone once said, “Not forgiving is like drinking poison and then waiting for the person to die”. Only you are being harmed by holding a grudge.
If you need a “formula” to help you do this, consider this from one of my favourite (now deceased) authors on the subject Emmet Fox…
“If anyone has ever injured me or done me any kind of harm, I fully and freely forgive him now, and the thing is done forever. I loose him and let him go. I am free and he is free.”
Also, consider the possibility that all events work for the good in the end. Anthony Robbins has a great quote on this…
“What if you adopted the belief that there are no bad experiences? Isn’t it true that no matter what you go through in life—whether it’s difficult or easy, painful or pleasurable—every experience provides something of value if you look for it?”
(4) Wake Up Every Day With A Purpose
You need to set goals. Having goals in your life gives you a direction to move in. You become master of your fate, captain of your soul. You are no longer pushed around by the winds of circumstance, you are now AT CAUSE in your life, not effect.
How to set goals and have purpose?
- Decide what you want out of life – and be specific
- Write it down.
- Figure out the price that needs to be paid to get you from A to B.
- Resolve to pay this price no matter what and make your plan.
- Work on it.
- No let up. No excuses.
It’s not rocket science. Just consistent action in the direction of your goals.
(5) Be Grateful
There are always many people (millions) worse off than yourself. We all for forget this from time to time. If your health is good and your mind is sound, you already have everything you need to take you wherever you want to go.
(6) Be Yourself
You’re weird? Good. You’re a nerd? Good. Whoever it is you really are, that’s who you need to be. Drop the pretence.
You’ll never be happy unless you are living authentically.
Joseph Campbell said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are”.
(7) Fill Your Mind With Thoughts That Are…
Positive, life-giving, constructive, kind, joyful, and compassionate.
Resolutely turn from anger, criticism, envy, hatred, and greed. These are your true enemies in life and not anyone or anything outside of yourself.
The Dalai Lama says…
“Cultivating a close, warm-hearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the ultimate source of success in life.”
(8) Finally…Endeavor To Make Your Life Of As Much Service To Others As Possible
Because this is the secret to success in any endeavor.
- Business: The most successful business is one that seeks to help and serve as best as possible.
“He who would be the greatest among you must become the servant of all.”
Another Tony Robbins quote is invaluable here and you should burn it into your brain if you are in business…
“My success in life will be based on my ability to give, not my ability to take!”
Don’t go to your business with the intent to make money. Go with a heart of service. Seek to help as best as you can. A natural side-effect is that you will become successful. People will want to do business with a person like you.
Chasing profits as your primary concern leads to seeking short-cuts and making poor decisions. This can only result in failure.
The secret to success is service.
- Friendships: If you seek to BE a friend to those around you, you’ll have friends everywhere. If you seek to GET friends, you may end up with none.
- Romantic Relationships: If you see your relationship as a place you go to GIVE, not a place you go to GET, the relationship will flourish and need never end.
It’s true. In life we GET what we GIVE. Attempting to get before giving is doomed to failure.
Don’t go to life trying to EXTRACT happiness from it, BRING happiness to it.
If you like this post, please consider sharing. If you have any comments, please share below. And if you have any other rules or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
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Absolutely fantastic! This gave me a lift!
Gotta say, this is just what I needed today. This helped me. Thank you.
Wow!That was so uplifting…so very doable.Thanks for this along with all the great work you are doing. Cheers!
Love this article! All very good points
Mark, I can’t express enough how much this helped me. I am going through some bad times, currently. This was just what I needed to read, today. Thank You so much for posting this.
Pretty darn good post Mark !
So very true! It’s easy to take for granted all blessings we have been given. Wake up each day and seek to be a blessing and once you have that mindset God will surely bless you!
Love it! Thanks!
Congrats. I am 52. Last week in a 12 hour period I lost my roommate and my job. I have a $1100 mortgage too.
Wow, thanks for the great feedback so far, guys.
@Joe Ciulla. So glad I could help.
@Randy, that’s a tough tough time to go through. Our biggest challenges also present our biggest opportunities for growth. Tough times don’t last – tough people do. Stay strong, buddy.
Motivational read, glad to see something like this on here and hope other readers feel so too.
I’ve actually been fairly motivated the past week or so, which is strange for me as usually I am not and let stuff get me down too easily.
I think it’s partially because I found a post recently on a fitness forum that I had made 2 years ago with an eager mind to start working out, that and a similar Facebook post of me moaning about my life but not doing anything about the situation.
So the above might not sound like it would motivate me but it made me realize I still have time and I can act today in order to make positive change, but if I don’t it will always be something I look back at with regret.
That gave me a mental kick up the backside as it were lol
At any rate I feel empowered and this post really reinforced my recent mindset so thank you.
really superb great tonic for me
Whoa…whoa. …got a nice boost. Thanks Mark.
Well said ! As for people going through rough times and hitting rock bottom, the only way is up, keep a positive attitude and everything will be ok. Sometimes the struggles we go through in life makes us a better person in life, so smile and be happy 🙂
Thank you, I’ve had a bad week and been searching the internet looking for inspiration on ways to change my perspective on life, and then I find this in my inbox.
Great advice, and as another commenter said – just what I needed to read today, really helpful.
Many thanks Mark.
beautifully said. If you have never done the landmark forum, you would love it. Not a plug as I sell real estate. But a really good way to send someone off for a few days and have them coming back living those 8 methods. I love to see people committed to service experiencing happiness and success. Nothing I hate more than a guy I know rips people off making 7 figures, and I know a few.
I will be applying these rules to my life, must definitely. Thank you, once again, for your dedication and excellent work.
Have a great new beginning, and a great new year 😀
@Luke. Put it this way, mate: Imagine another 2 years from now. The thing is, time passes all by itself. Those 2 years will go by itself and you’ll be there. Now, will you be there with the body and mindset you want, or with your current situation unchanged? Seems to me if time you’re going to be there anyway, you might as well be there with the changes you desire. So fill the time with actions that will bring you to that destination.
@Harish @Nandan Thanks 😀
@Mike Witzenburg. That’s exactly correct. If we choose it, we can become better people from our trials, we can emerge better, not bitter 😉
@Darren @Paul Salmon @Nate @Lisandra Thanks so much, guys 🙂
Mark this is absolutely brilliant, it is so true and with it being my birthday tomorrow my life starts from this day… I’m at crossroads with a few things in my life and this couldn’t come at a better time… thanks again.
Long time reader. Love the article. Thanks, Mark.
@Harry. Awesome! Glad to help.
@Robert. Thank you, buddy.
Good word. Like the message about everyday is a new beginning and to spend time helping others. Should end or start everyday reading over this.
Read this before bed, hopefully your words will flow into my sub-conscious 🙂
Wonderful post Mark!!! The world needs more people with Your Awesome Attitude!!!
Today is my birthday and the first day of the rest of my life. I am grateful for you.
Saw a different side to you after reading this. A vulnerable side which shows strength and character. It is your best writing to date.
Great post Mark.
Mate just sent this to a friend with the big C
Biggest fight of her life.I no she needs the lift she will get from this..Thanks mate
Sending this to a friend fighting the fight of her life.Got the big C.Mate this will truly help. Thanks
@Geoff @Matthew @Mike @Druevans @Scott @Brian THANKS! 😀
@Des. So sorry to hear that, mate. I hope it can help her in some way. Best wishes to you and your friend.
Wow what a post! All that’s GOLDEN in one basket!
Truly aspiring Mark! Really love your selfless help!
@Suresh @Ismail Thanks, guys 🙂
I love you Mark, you’re one of the people I look up to yet have never met personally. God bless!
@Muhammad. Thanks so much for the kind words, buddy. Much appreciated.
Thank you for the positive reinforcement speech. It isn’t always easy to see the upside of things but if you can train yourself to do so realistically you will be in a much better place mentally.
wilL u please make an explosive workouT or soMe experiment for shouldErS ? please mark my bicepS are biGGEr than my arms . it loOks to irRitating . . please help me . tip me .