Hatred is corrosive…to the hater.
It degrades your soul by putting you in a negative state of mind…a self-imposed negative state of mind.
But there’s one main reason why you should never hate anyone, and I sum it up in 4 words in this 15-second video.
The 4 most important words are…
“That person owns you”
The reason they own you is that they now occupy a large piece of real estate…in your mind. They’ve taken over…and you let them do it.
Perhaps this will end up dictating certain aspects of your life – where you can go, who you can talk to, be friends with and so on. You’ve handed control of your life over to someone you don’t like…and you don’t even know it.
Giving up hatred and resentment
I quoted Booker T Washington in a HappyHack article about my own decision to give up hatred a few months ago. He said, “I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.”I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him ~ Booker T. Washington Click To Tweet
Hatred is actually a form of self-abuse in my opinion. Whatever they did, it’s in the past and no longer exists. The only place it exists now is in your head. Since the event itself doesn’t exist any more, it’s actually your own unwillingness or inability to forgive and move on that is causing the suffering.Hatred, resentment, bearing grudges, are all forms of self-abuse ~ Mark McManus Click To Tweet
You must ask yourself, “How does it serve me to hold onto this resentment?”
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What you can do
There’s 2 things to remember that will help get rid of hatred and anger:
(1) “Only hurt people hurt people.” If they hate you, it’s because they themselves are hurting and their hatred is their way of trying to protect themselves. Perhaps they are jealous or threatened by you in some way.
(2) Focus on that person’s good qualities. Everyone has good qualities. When you let yourself sink into hatred, you’ve lost your objectivity and are focusing only on that person’s negative traits – this only represents a thin slice of who they are. Maybe they a good parent. They work hard. Do charity work. Everyone has good qualities.
Mark Twain said it best…
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured”